My Quest.

I'm the type of person who likes to be comfortable. I don't like change. And I'm definitely not a risk taker. But I'm definitely trying to take more risks, and it's working out for me so far. Right now I'm mostly just trying to work on living in the present, not thinking about what I would've done differently in the past and not fretting about the future, just being here and now in the present so I don't miss anything. And enjoying the little things seriously makes a HUGE difference. Still got a long ways to go though, it's hard leaving your comfort zone. Baby steps, baby steps.

Family;

I just wanna take a minute and say how much I love my family and am so blessed to have them. We've been dealing with a lot of things lately and I'm glad we have each other. I wanna give a shout-out to my beautiful, strong, loving, wonderful, emotional (especially right now), at times crazy, extremely inappropriate, loud, funny, extremely caring and giving, gorgeous Momma. I feel like through half of that I was describing myself. [especially the "crazy" and "loud" part]. But I'm accepting that maaaayyyybe it isn't such a bad thing I'm like my mother. Maybe. ;)

                    Also, to my little brother Steven. We had to say goodbye to him for 4 months today. He's joined the Army National Guard and is leaving today to go to basic training in South Carolina. It was really really hard to say goodbye {even if he is a little $#!+ sometimes). I'm so proud of him and the young man he has grown up to be and for his choice to join the Guard and defend our country and freedom (even if it was hard for all of us to accept :P).
My poor mother has been having a breakdown, but she and the rest of us are so incredibly proud of him. Love you Steven, I'll miss you, be safe and I'll see you in June.

<3

wove. twue wove..

which bwings us together today.

My best friend got married today.
It was so surreal! I still think of us as two fifteen year olds...
obsessing over McFly and dreaming of being done with high school..
It was beautiful.
She was beautiful.
And I wish her all the happiness in the world.
To Haylie & Alex.

I'm feeling ridiculously inspired.

"Changes, I've never been good with change..."

And oh boy,  A LOT is changing. My friends are now in serious relationships, getting married or even having babies, or have moved away to be closer to their job. And I'm so incredibly happy for them :) It's just kind of hit me that they don't really need me anymore- I don't mean that in a "wah-cry-baby-nobody-likes-me" kind of way- they have just gone on their own paths and there's other priorites in their lives. Because that is just the way life goes, and I accept that.  I'm just the type of person who loves feeling needed. And I suck with change. So, I'm finding that I'm having a hard time dealing with it. I just kind of feel like I'm at a stand still, with only work and school going on and everyone else is moving on to the next step in their lives.

So, after weeks of feeling down and depressed and having anxiety over all the new crazy things going on, I'm beginning to think a little more clearly and I have declared that it is Chelsey time!

I need to work on myself. Do things that I like and expand my horizons.

I'm going to take the time to exercise more.. 'cause it makes me feel good!

I want to paint and draw again and take more pictures and appreciate little things everyday that make me smile.

I want to sing karaoke and do crazy, spontaneous things I've never done before and make a fool of myself.

I want to go on road trips. Go to museums and other nifty places. I want to read more.

I want to make mistakes and learn from life experiences.

I'd like to make new friends and meet new boys. Go on dates. If I find someone and fall in love, great. But if not, that's great too!

And even if my friends are starting these new, exciting lives.. they'll still always be a huge part of my life :) I have amazing people in my life.

I realize a lot of this is probably just talk, but I have reached a point where I'm ready to make the things I want happen. I mean, this is the only life I get.

And I want to always make the best of my situation in life, whatever it may be.

And I'm pretty freakin' excited.

Words to live by...

"This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends- they'll act like it anyway. But just remember; some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything-they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world.

As for lovers, well they come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them, actually pretty much all of them, are going to break your heart. But you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything.

Just because you fail once doesn't mean your gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always always always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."
-{Marilyn Monroe}

just what I needed.. :)

{all pics from www.deviantart.com}