Tea Time

This is officially one of my new favourite places..
The Beehive Tea Room. I can't even explain its wonderfulness... you just have to experience it yourself.

{my pumpkin spice chai}

Yes, that is a tea pot. Filled with tea. And a tea cup.

The entire place is just decorated like this. With amazing vintage treasures and some awesome vintage chairs and couches. Its just so cozy and lovely.

sometimes, things just don't go the way you want.

So, I applied for a teaching internship for next fall. The interviews were on Friday and I was completely calm and collected until about an hour before the interview. Then, of course, I was a complete basket case. But I made it through anyway and I guess it went as well as it could have. I got a phone call about an hour later and the lady was all super nice until... "unfortunately..." 

I didn't get it.

And I'm pretty okay with that. I feel like I had prepared myself and kind of expected that answer. I think people are a little concerned with my lack of disappointment, I guess. And it's not that I'm not disappointed, I really wanted it! My stomach dropped and I wanted to cry a little. But I think that this is for the best. It doesn't mean I'm not capable, but I probably do need to prepare a little more before I'm thrown out there. And it just wasn't meant to be.

2012.

'tis another new year. Full of resolutions I'll never keep and me saying I'm gonna make this year rock. It'll be a big year for me though. I'll be finishing school this year {which is TERRIFYING exciting}! Time to be a grown up I suppose? psh. yeah right.
Anyway, I've decided to make some goals for this year;
Be more positive.
Go to more concerts & continue to find life-changing music.
Meet new people.
Spend more time with family and friends.
Go to a place I've never been before {such as San Francisco & New York}.
Be healthier.
Save money {for England}.
Love me for who I am.

Seems do-able. Hope this year treats me better than the last. Happy 2012 to you all :)

"I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones, and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited."
{sylvia plath}

{pic; papertissue.tumblr.com}

A feeling I almost forgot.

Content (con-tent): adj. In a state of peaceful happiness.

That is how I felt today. Just perfectly content.
It was kind of a great day.
I worked a super early shift at work today and was home by ten am. So of course I slept for a couple hours, which was lovely.
I cleaned my pig-sty of a room... Seriously I had a tiny trail that led from my bed to my closet to the door. And now it is spotless. And my laundry is done- which is a miracle. I started packing for my California trip- just 3 days and I will be sitting on the beach... contemplating whether to come back home or not ;)
I put some pictures and some of my old paintings and drawings and other artwork up on my bedroom wall. I pulled out my sketch book so I can start drawing again. I look forward to that. And I also can't wait until I get my new camera so I can fill up my bedroom with more photography.
I painted this lovely quote from The Perks of Being a Wallflower on my wall...

"So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them."

Then I just jammed on the guitar for a little bit.

I didn't get as much homework done as I would have liked.. but I'm actually okay with that. I think I really needed some time away from everything and everyone and just some time to zone out on everything. It was really nice to just have a day to myself and feel really productive in a personal-good-for-my-soul kind of way. And I got to do things that I love that I haven't done in a while. I haven't really been out much lately anyway, but today I got to take some time for me.

And it turns out, I'm not such bad company.

Special Moments.

So, today I went over to my Grandma’s house… And she just loves to tell stories and find old pictures and anything like that. And I love listening to it. Well, today my Grandma, my cousin, and I were looking through my g-ma’s jewelry. And she has necklaces and earrings and such that belonged to her Mom… so these things are like.. freakin old.. like at least mid-1900’s old.. And so rad! So vintage and awesome. Well, she let my cousin and I have some of the jewelry! So I got a few necklaces that are about 3 generations old. And some old earrings from like the 70’s and 80’s that my G-ma used to wear. Coolest. Thing. Ever. She loved seeing us wear them. And it was the most awesome moment. Because these aren’t just cute pieces of jewelry that I bought at the store. They actually mean something to me, and I’ll always have that memory of today and the thought that this jewelry belonged to my family. People who are apart of me. It really was the coolest feeling.

Seriously, though...

"I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won’t tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn’t change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact that you have what you have."

{Stephen Chbosky;The Perks of Being a Wallflower}

You know, everybody goes through their own shiz in life. And it sucks. And maybe somebody else does have it much worse than you, or maybe it's not even the worst thing you've ever gone through... but its still hard, and it doesn't change the fact that you're struggling. So whenever someone confides in you, or tells you they're having a rough time, don't make it about yourself.. Don't say things like, "well at least you're not blah, blah, blah..." or "it could be worse." 'Cause guess what, we know it could be worse. And that it probably will be worse. But right now it sucks. So, maybe just don't say anything. 'Cause most of the time people don't need crap "advice," they just need to let it all out. Just listen and be a friend.

I could maybe live there.

Just got back from my week long trip from Oregon :)
It was lovely.
We walked around Portland and saw all its crazy goodness for about 3 days.
Then went and stayed in the lovely Eugene for the remainder of our trip.
And it was beautiful! It was a great time... Unfortunately I had to come back.

My first plane ride...

Portland.

Portland Saturday Market

Eugene.

The coast! :)

Riding bikes on thee river.

I may want to live there ;)

just some thoughts I've been thinking

Just gonna throw it out there that sometimes I just do not like living in Utah. It's like we're in this freaking bubble. A bubble where if you don't go to church every Sunday or do a certain thing or look or act a certain "appropriate" way, you'll be judged for it. Yes, I am Mormon. No, I do not go to church every Sunday and honestly haven't been in months. And yes, I have some issues with the church. That doesn't mean I don't believe in or love our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, I do believe God is up there listening to our prayers and that he gives us trials and blessings. I say my prayers, I have morals and standards- maybe I like to cuss a little much... But I think being spiritual is more important than being religious. Because you can be one with out being the other.
I believe that being compassionate and loving and respectful of others and selfless and non-judgemental and trying to be a genuinely good person, serving others, and doing your best... having a good heart.. is more important than living up to this "appropriate image." I know people with peircings and tattoos who smoke cigarettes too and I honestly think are the sweetest people in the world. Doing things like that doesn't make someone a bad person. There's certainly more important things to be focusing on than sitting around judging people. We are in no place to judge anyone. We don't know their situation and life experiences.. We don't know what's in their heart. Have an open mind. I mean really, to each their own, but I think life should be a little more about love and peace and humanity.